I have heard words like that before; the comfort you give is only torment. Are you going to keep on talking forever? Do you always have to have the last word? If you were in my place and I in yours, I could say anything you are saying. I could shake my head wisely and drown you with a flood of words. I could strengthen you with advice and keep talking to comfort you.

But nothing I say helps, and being silent does not calm my pain.

Job 15:1-6

Do you know how to share pain? Do you know how to give comfort to others in their suffering? A comforter’s ability to help is not so much his talent for using words as it is his capacity to be sympathetic. That is the type of understanding Job was looking for from his friends. But his friends tried to correct him. That was what he may have needed, but it was not what he wanted.

And so, the person who helps someone in need rarely has smooth answers, but it is someone who is quiet and has a true understanding, and is willing to listen more than talk. The person does not even give advice, but does have a sense of patience. That person will be there when their friend needs them. Sometimes it is only to hold a hand, give a hug and share a lump in the throat.

Sometimes, in trying so hard to say the right thing, we forget that the language of feeling speaks louder than our words. Sometimes the best thing we can do is weep with those who are weeping.

Sympathy is two hearts tugging at one load.

Our Daily Bread – March 3, 2002